Something clicked inside of me this holiday season as I spent Christmas and New Years' with my family. Maybe it was the abundance of excessively rich meals, or maybe just a New Years' spirit of self-improvement, but I decided that I was going to finally do something about getting in shape.

Now, that's an oft-stated goal this time of year, but for me, getting in shape would come after years of doing little besides computer work, playing music, and teaching - it's a long road ahead.

I talked a little with my cousin, who is an accomplished fencer (he actually played for the Welsh national team), and with my brother, who has practiced judo for several years. Suddenly it seemed like the solution was clear: split the difference between their two pursuits and take up kendo, a Japanese martial art which involves fighting with a bamboo swords while wearing a stylized version of samurai armour.

For most people I told, I had to repeat that description two or three times. Doing a full-contact martial art involving swords, armor, and a lot of yelling is out of character for me, to say the least.

As I read up on kendo, I tried to imagine myself doing it. The combination of getting in shape while learning a new skill emphasizing muscle control, balance, and mental focus sounded incredibly appealing, and yet very intimidating for me. As I examined my attitudes further, I realized that I haven't pushed myself out of my comfort zone in a long, long time: I've played music for my whole life, and taught for around 10 years now, so while I'm always learning new things there's little in the music world that is utterly foreign to me. It's the same way for computers: I've been playing around with computer hardware and software since childhood, and I often feel that there are few surprises left there.

But the idea of a martial art, like every sport I've ever tried, strikes fear in my heart. I'm not particularly coordinated when it comes to large muscles, balance, and the like, and I'm woefully out of shape. But I psyched myself up to joining Seattle Kendo Kai and got started.

What have I learned so far? Within the first 20 minutes of the first practice, I knew I had a long, long road ahead of me! It's a wonderful group of people, quite supportive, focused, and incredibly strong! For me, every motion in kendo is unfamiliar, unintuitive, and physically demanding. Kendo is always taught on a volunteer basis, so no one is being paid to instruct me - instead, the head sensei and the other members do this out of the belief that kendo is worth practicing for a lifetime, and that the knowledge itself is worth passing on.

I have attended about six practices so far, and while I can feel a few techniques getting a bit easier, it will be at least six months and perhaps more than a year of dedicated practice before I can actually wear armor and participate in sparring with other members of the club. Does it seem like a long time to wait? Not really! I feel that I have my hands more than full just trying to remember the postures, movements, and techniques of the very basic things I've been taught.

As I've struggled to do what the sensei asks of me, I've been struck with a huge sense of humility as I think of what my own fiddle and mandolin students go through at every lesson: my beginners come into the teaching studio with the same awkwardness, confusion, and eventual fatigue that I'm experiencing in the kendo dojo. I try to give my students pointers for posture and what the right bow techniques should "feel like," but kendo is reminding me that these verbal instructions are no substitute for simple experience and repetition. In kendo, I'm experiencing the same 'culture shock' in terms of vocabulary, etiquette, care of equipment, and fear of asking 'stupid questions' as my beginning students do with me.

As much as the sensei reminds me to keep my left leg straight, my eyes focused straight ahead, and my toes sweeping the floor instead of raising up, it's just too many things to remember at the same time. It can be demoralizing, and yet I find myself giving the same advice to my discouraged "kendo" self as I do to my discouraged students:

Keep practicing: This takes a lifetime to learn, so don't expect to be a "black belt" (or Vassar Clements) in the first month.
Your muscles will learn. Dedicated practice will help your muscles remember what to do. What feels like "too many things to remember" will gradually become more automatic.
Don't practice 'badly.' Use the right form and pay attention to detail when you practice - reinforce only the good things!

It's amazing, humbling, and invigorating to be a beginner again. I teach mostly adults, and I have new respect and admiration for the folks who come through my door, throwing themselves completely into an unfamiliar experience. I'm realizing that they're a lot braver than me!